Man Attempts to Steal Live Lobsters, Puts Them Down Pants; Aspartame: Still Bad for You

• A guy in southern Mississippi tried to shoplift some live lobsters ... down his pants. [AP/SFGate]

• Well, we've reported on their troubles, and now Groupon is "reassessing the timeline" of their planned IPO. Also, they've canceled their investor roadshow. [WSJ, Earlier]

• A researcher in Missouri has built a drought simulator to help scientists understand how crops are affected by drought, with a view toward developing more drought-resistant crops. [HuffPo]

• People are breeding some craaaazy fruits these days, and actually, it's kind of awesome. Peacherine, anyone? [WSJ]

• If you still dare to read nutrition labels, here are the five most important scary chemicals to avoid. Hint: Aspartame is one, diet soda lovers. [NRN]

• There are tiny creatures living in our intestinal tracts, and a new study shows that we host two primary bacterial strains, whose preponderance depends on what kind of diet we consume. [Healthland/Time]

• Take note, Food Network fanatics: In a study, most celebrity-chef-branded packaged foods, like Emeril's sauces, disappointed consumers. [HuffPo]